I would like to share a few thoughts with the recent news that Swami Satyananda has left his body. Just to share a little bit some feelings I had when I was at Rikhia this year for the Sat Chandi Mahayajna.


It was a last minute decision to go this year, as it was the first time I went, in 2007, when I was fortunate enough to be able to film a record of the events that led ultimately to Love and the Art of Giving.


As then, a force...how can I say...pulled me to Rikhia and it was almost against my conscious will. I didn't actually wish to go there but somehow found myself buying a ticket, sub letting my flat here in Berlin for the month and embarking on the journey in a kind of trance. But I am SO pleased that I went. All the time i was wondering whether it was the right decision. Now I know it was.


Although I spent much time on my first trip in the presence of Swami Satyananda I felt a tremendous connection with Swami Niranjan. Maybe that is to be expected since Paramahamsaji had long ago retired from his duties. With Swami Niranjan I had the experience I have read about but never been privy to-a real guru experience of this man simply existing in my heart, there always. No thinking about it, he simply came there and has stayed there ever since. The warmth and love I feel for this man exists beyond words. 


With Swami Satyananda I didn't feel the 'personal' connection. But I did feel guided by him, both before I ever arrived at the Rikhia ashram, and especially since and while i was editing the film. So I had the feeling of him not in my heart as such, but more in my...astral body. And as an influencing force in my life he had become so strong that, to be totally honest, it almost scared me.


So when I arrived at Rikhia this year I decided not to film and instead experience the festival from another angle, working on the water team. To keep a bit of distance this time from the program itself. I have had so many extraordinary experiences connected with this place and I think this year I didn't want to have any more!! But I did, in a completely different way to what I expected. And i think now i understand it more.


On the final day of the Sat Chandi I saw Paramahamsaji for the first time when he came out for the Kanya Puja. And I will never forget this. His eyes...I was looking...his eyes looked like the eyes of a LION. A cat's eyes. Huge. Not even human almost. I know Swamiji sometimes opens his eyes very wide when he speaks but this was something different. Emerald green, with huge pupils shaped like diamonds. Now I was watching for sometime because I couldn't actually believe what I was seeing. And the power and the strength...it is hard to convey. But it was totally magical to witness.


All through the last 3 days that I was there I felt Swami Satyananda's presence EVERYWHERE. In the grass, in the wind, in the trees. After we received prasad on the final day I sat outside the ashram and a swarm of crows flew overhead and I felt him there, in their cries, in their movement. I felt a surge of love for this man I had never felt before, for his achievements, for the sheer magnitude of what he has done in his life. I can't explain this feeling properly because it is not a usual feeling! But it was all the more powerful because I hadn't felt him so strongly before in this way. And now I realize, that this was, I think, the experience of someone's soul moving outwards, across the land, into everything around.


I felt absolutely and completely joined. It is one of THE most powerful experiences i have ever had. And more, that in that place this year i could just feel the magical undertows and started to even question how much of my original visit was really my own doing. Maybe for another time I will write about these magical stories.


When I arrived back in Berlin I heard the news of Swamiji's passing. And again I felt, even stronger than before, the presence of this amazing man. The force, the release of energy, the magical shifts. All through the street of Berlin, in the dark of the evening. And I could understand why it is said that now his power increases a thousand fold.


To have been for such a short while privileged to spend some time in this man's company is truly a great great blessing. I don't even know how it happened...and how I came to be able to make the film I made. And to be exposed to these teachings and these wonderful people. Simply amazing.



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